Fantasies & Expectations

When I was a child I wanted to be a Taxi driver who take foreign tourist for a ride, earn good money and go places. There was this Mr. Bacchans’ movie released during that time in which was the flamboyant lifestyle of a Tonga wala. Suddenly I wanted to be a Tongawala. As I grew up to social expectations I swapped Tonga with a Taxi. Like every kid I too wanted to be an actor. The very idea of being an actor was so thrilling to me. If somehow I can be an actor I can be right up to everybody’s expectation. I can be a doctor in one movie and can make my father happy; in another can be an Engineer for mummy and so on. And it took quite a while for me to realize that being an actor and a successful at that need lot of sweat and commitment, probably more than I was ready for. My other fantasy of becoming a cricketer also faded in the same fashion when I came to know that the ball with which we play is not used in professional cricket but in lawn tennis.

When I grew up to an age where I was able to think logically, I analyzed all my fantasies. There was one thing common in all the career path I wanted to walk through, They were all individualistic and independent in nature. Amitabh as a Tongawala was an independent professional who didn’t required a big corporation behind him for support and so was the case with an actor, a doctor or a cricketer. They are all skilled individual who can survive independently.

and I am scanning all the feasible professional and unprofessional options : Teacher, Consultant, Writer. My fantasies are still yearning for independence of that of an Hermit , of that of an Rasta man, of that of an Fakir….